An Annoyance

This loan officer/lender guy is really an annoyance. UGH....He keeps calling!

Okay, so we just met for dinner last night for him to run over some quick and "fuzzy math" for why we can afford a house (rolling my eyes). And he gave me a website to go to that helps you figure out your W-4 Withholdings (www.paycheckcity.com). Honestly, the site was more confusing than helpful. The IRS also has a website for a W-4 Withholding Calculator (http://www.irs.gov/individuals/article/0,,id=96196,00.html) which is even better than the Paycheck City website.

After using these calculators, and plugging in numbers that would represent if we bought a "new" house right now, the math still looked crazy and uncertain. I didn't plug in the numbers for our rental property, however, which could have made a difference. But just using basic math for what the mortgage interest and property taxes would be, we still didn't make out as well as the loan officer so adamantly insisted we would.

This is where an accountant needs to come in. My coworker, Nancy, also referred me to her accountant, who I plan to call next week for an appointment.

I simply do not believe, and do not feel comfortable, paying $3,000 for a mortgage with property tax which he lender so vehemently said was doable. With utilities, etc., that is 3 times more what we're currently paying. We must be real idiots if we sign up for THAT "deal!"

There are other options for us when we move:

• Buying a smaller, older townhouse (however, this type of property really isn't much less expensive than an older single family home that has a backyard, if you can believe it!)
  
  
• Buy a home further north, which is cheaper, (downside is that it increases commute times, which could add an extra 30-45 minutes or longer just to move 10+ miles north), or,
  
  
• Buy a home in Prince George's County, our neighboring county (although the property taxes are slightly higher which means higher monthly payments, and the school system is crappier than our county, Montogmery County).

In my mind, I have decided that we WILL be moving..... the question is WHEN and WHERE, and WHAT can we truly afford (I can tell you that $3,000 a month is out of the question, especially if we have another child and have nearly a "G" more to pay for daycare costs).

I feel happy to have come to that decision that we ARE going to do this. I struggled with that for so long.

And I think part of the struggle was my belief system surrounding homebuying. It wasn't that I felt I was not deserving, but it was a fear of, "Damn, can we really do this??" And I was feeling like I was being spoiled and ungrateful for what we do already have. I felt like it was SUPERFICIAL for me to want my family to have a larger home. In my heart of hearts, I know we could stay in this condo and survive and do well, with Kwabi alone. And with another child, especially if it's a girl, we could survive for a couple more years if they shared a room. People have survived on much less, and they survived and were happy.

So I questioned whether we really NEEDED to buy versus WANTING to buy.....and wanting to buy a bigger house felt materialistic, and I surely don't want to feel materialistic (although I will proudly promote my new Mac! LOL)

Anyhow, these were the feelings around homebuying that have prevented me from moving forward (in addition to not truly knowing what we can afford monthly). But now I tell myself that it's not being materialistic. Yes, I am aware that we could survive here somewhat comfortably (although our neighbor downstairs that hearing pounding everyday wouldn't say the same....), even with another child, for a few more years. But I've accepted that idea, AND accepted the fact that there is nothing wrong with wanting more space....a yard for Kwabi....an office for Kwasi....a sewing room for me....a play area for Kwabi....space for us to hang out and entertain without having to be so hush-hush for fear of waking Kwabi up.

These are all the things I want (and Kwasi, too), and it is absolutely okay to want more.

I do agree that we have to be sure we can afford it, and that's the part I'm working on now. If it comes to be that we simply cannot afford it, then we figure out some things we are willing to sacrifice or change in order to afford it . For example, I've been tracking my spending (every dime!) for the last 8 months. I can tell you that I am averaging about $200 on snacks and lunches eaten outside of the home (i.e. my "latte factor"). Just cutting this back to $100, or even $50 would allow us more money to use towards a new mortgage!

Within this we don't want to completely lose our lifestyle so that we're eating Ramen noodles every night. But the point here is that there are holes and gaps we can close up to at least find some extra cash in order to afford more house.....and that extra cash, mixed with creative solutions, we're going to do this. But on OUR terms, not the terms of some fast-talking, corpulant loan officer who only has his best interests at heart.